Funerals

  I come from a place where people hear about shootings and drive by just to see the dead bodies. Kids caught in the cross hairs but when they see the news its a nobody.  People are so de-sensitized they dont even realize that they are a part of a system that eats them alive.

Its crazy to me.

To see people that wont know dont know and wont go anywhere but their block. They are afraid. Scared not of the gunfire, drive bys, hookers, drugs, baby mamas... dramas...single black men know nothing but the glock.. 

No they fear Good. Light. Life. Too blind to get out of their daily strife. Love hits in the back...stabs in the heart just like a knife. How can you be love in a warzone? Dont even have a place to call your home. Schools got shootings and churches boarded up. No place to go...nothing but one big setup. 

They tell us to be successful. That youll get out of the streets. Sell out your soul...bet it aint me. Success comes with a price so be calulated with your moves... Even in the money fame success youll always feel like you got something to prove. All of us hurting so much but we cover up all the wounds. Instead we drive by watching crime scenes trying to get ourselves on the news. 

Where Are You?

Where are you?

Where have you gone?

I miss you but you cannot be found

That soul of yours has been stolen

Along with time...

Where are you?

Wasn't I good enough

For Love?

Wasn't I patient enough?

Kind enough?

Smart enough?

Am I enough?

I guess not...

Since you are the one long gone

and I am here holding what is left

of your beating heart

Things I Love

The things I love about you:

-When you hug me close and I can feel your heart beating a million miles.
- Your beautiful, wonderful, indescribable scent.
-Your hair!
- Your contagious laughter.
- Your eyebrows.
- Your right eye with its half green, half brown.
- Your rough beard. ( It's so soft I just want to lay in it for days.)
- Your collarbone.
- The nape of your neck.
- Your pot belly when you're full.
- Your skinny, chicken legs.
- Your tan
- Your overworked hands
- Your crows feet and pretty much every magnificent wrinkle on your face
- Your feet

The hair on your chest and legs
Your breath makes the hairs on my neck rise
The crooked smile that makes you unique
Your strong arms and hands
Tan skin
Sun bleached brown hair
Your smell
I find it interesting that you don't see yourself the way I do
I observe
I see
I fall in love over and over again when these subtleties arise to my awareness
I wonder if I will be able to be away from you
To not experience these small beauties
Then what?
Will I fall out of love with you?
Nothing I haven't done before.
I fall in and out
In
    and        out
In
       and        out
of love with you like waves to the shore.
Some days I do. I know that I love you.
Other days I don't need you. But I love you never the less.
I have always loved you.
Even when I haven't I have because I have continued to care.
I have cared about you even more than you probably have about yourself.
But that is because I love you.
I believe that I always will love you. 

I always will.

Don't give me flowers plant me a garden.

Don't just kiss me take away my breath.

Don't just hold me in your arms let me into your dreams

I want you to take me to another galaxy

Make me see stars and make

 my lungs bloom when I see you.

Don't love me. Be my wonderwall.

Wedding Vows

I want you today, tomorrow, next week,
next month, next year, and
for the rest of my life.

I want you on the darkest of days
and the lightest.
I want all of you even when your skin has wrinkled
and your hands have grown worn.
I want you next to me as my partner, through thick and thin,
until we are no more.

For you, are the poetry of my life, the color within the art, and the window
to my very own soul.
For when I am with you, I feel complete.

I promise to take you now,
love you forever,
and leave you never.

Thoughts

I feel so mixed up inside.
I know that I confessed that I loved you.
I know that in myself now but what does that mean?
Does that mean suddenly I become you or you me?
Because I don't want that
Does it mean that we are ourselves but just better?
...... I don't know if we are
I realize I don't know you
I mean how can I love something I don't know?
My mind speaks this question over and over again.
But when I see you my body, my insides, my heart it blooms for you
I shutter sometimes not because of a chill but because of you
You make me shutter
I can't breath sometimes when I am with you. I don't want to.
I feel your essence surround me.
I dream of the simplest things. I dream to hold your hand. Feel your skin.
I yearn to touch your arm or the crease of your eyes.
I just want to stare into your eyes and feel your breath against me.
Sometimes I do. Sometimes I feel that way. I can feel your heat radiating off of you.
But then I am unsure.
I don't want to shower you with love. I don't want to scare you away. So... I just stay.
I stay close. I confirm you. That is the only way I can love you.
I will always be there. I will always be your closest friend. I will always love you....
But maybe it cannot be...
That is the question. Does he love me or does it matter?